Tired.

Somewhere in the middle of our ride to church last Wednesday it dawned on me.

"I am really, really, REALLY tired of riding this bus."

You see, I have ridden on a bus with 20-70 kids every Wednesday and a lot of Sundays for the last 9 years. That comes out to over 824 times.

Let me tell you something about riding on a bus with kids. It is LOUD. Ha! And have I mentioned that I am introvert? God truly has a sense of humor.

But, the reality of the situation is, that riding that bus has been one of the most amazing and transforming experiences of my life. Some of the kids that still ride the bus today as teenagers have been riding that whole time. I have watched them grow from hyper little boys, with their own hurts and fears, into growing young men trying to make choices in a tough world.

I have seen kids come and go. I have seen HUGE victories and heartbreaking defeats. I have laughed with them, cried with them, hugged them, and put band aids on both skin and soul.

I have disciplined and asked them to sit down....over, and over, and OVER. I have had moments of joy and moments of defeat. I have wanted to quit. I have questioned my choices. I have wondered at times if I have given too much tough love or not enough.

I have been spit on, pushed, yelled at, and defied. I have had rocks thrown at me, been called names, and cursed.

I have had hugs, and kids who just want to lean on my arm, and sweet pictures, and sticky candy gifts, and more honest-to-goodness heartfelt love than my heart can hold.

I have counseled and begged and pleaded and yelled. I have sang and entertained and distracted. I have wiped boogers and braided hair and broken up fights. I have listened to "Call Me, Maybe" being sung at the top of their cute, little lungs more times than I care to remember.

I have bawled my eyes out in frustration. In sadness. In heartbreak over what I have seen and heard and felt with my heart. And still I know that God is in and through and around it all. So I've realized that these moments are blessings. Each one of these noisy rides a chance to show kids that they matter.

We get to show them that they are
*loved
*important
*valued
*irreplaceable pieces of God's beautiful plan.

So, go ahead...get on the bus. And, God, please don't let me ever get tired of that.